Chapter 4: Roots

"We would spend hours on end laughing our balls off to the most ridiculous and stupid shit on the planet. So much that our cheeks and stomachs would be sore by the time he went home."

     In 1st grade, I wasn't very talkative or social amongst the other kids in my school. Actually, I was pretty much like that up until middle school. People scared me. I was afraid of what people were capable of to kids like me. And it was obvious that I had an early sense of how society works and treats kids who were like me back then.

     Little Ernell was your basic nerd kid. I was "fat". I was good in school. I played with trading cards. I watched japanese animated shows. I didn't talk to anyone. And when I did talk, only awkward dumb shit would come out of my mouth. Sadly enough, those are all qualifications to get picked on by the "cool kids" in school.

     After taking a couple months of endless teasing and name calling, I decided to start socializing a little bit with other people I never talked to before. My first step towards doing this was sitting next to someone in the cafeteria during lunch, which is something I never really did. I was always to shy to sit near anyone when I ate. So my first reaction after getting lunch was to go sit outside by the four square boxes, eat my meal, read, and then go to class when the bell rung. The process was simple, but it allowed me to eat and finish my homework without getting picked on.

     I eventually got up the courage to sit in the cafeteria after getting my meal. When I was looking around the room for some place to sit, the only thing I could think was, "who wouldn't pick on me or laugh at me or tell me to go away?" Needless to say, it was awkward for me to stand there and stare at different people around the room in order to decide what was the best decision.

     But when I saw these three boys sitting by themselves at one of the tables, I couldn't help but think that they must have been exactly like me. Looking for a way to escape from other people. With that said, I made my way towards the boys and sat down next to the biggest guy there. In about half an hour, I made three new best friends.

Aaron Feazle, one of my first best friends.

     The big guy I sat next to was Nick Smith. One of the smartest guys I ever met in my entire life. But had one of the worst tempers I'd ever seen. Him and his older brothers, Will and Jake, taught me so many valuable lessons in my younger years. On top of those lessons, Nick was a huge influence on my love towards trading card games. Pokemon, Magic The Gathering, Gundam, Yu-Gi-Oh, and The Seventh Sea were all games he taught me how to play. When we weren't playing those, we were watching anime movies or playing video games like Halo or Final Fantasy. It was a long and awesome time we had when I went over to his house.

     Another one of the guys I met at the table was A.J. or Aaron Feazle. Now believe it or not, me and Aaron became closer friends than I was with Mike and Nick in all honesty. I don't know what it was, but him and I were on a really strange level together. We loved the same things and hated all the same things. And because his parents were so strict about him doing fun stuff, he was over my house every night playing video games and watching Digimon with me. There were a lot of good times we had hanging out together.

     Lastly, the only one of the three that I am still currently friends with today is Mike Price, or by what we all call him now, Mikey. Mike and I didn't spend nearly as much time as I did with AJ, but when we did hang out, it was HYSTERICAL. We would spend hours on end laughing our balls off to the most ridiculous and stupid shit on the planet. So much that our cheeks and stomachs would be sore by the time he went home.

     All three of us would spend lunch at school playing with our cards and talking about the newest episodes of Pokemon and Digimon from the day before. In the mornings, we would meet up extra early so we could walk to school together and have time to battle our Pokemon on our Gameboys before school started, unless of course they were already staying at my house the previous night.

Mike Price. Current day.

     In case you didn't realize that I said it earlier, Mikey is the only on of the three boys that I'm still currently in contact with. Not because we got into a huge fight or anything, but simply because we all grew apart. Mikey is currently in the United States Marine Core, stationed in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii. He has a lovely girlfriend and thankfully, he's not as much of a push over as he used to be when he was younger. He comes back home about once a year for the holidays and visits his family as well as mine. And when he does visit, we spend most of his vacation time hanging out and catching up. AJ is also in the Marines, but he just recently joined. After we graduated from Madison High School I didn't ever hear from him, but last that I've seen, he also has a sweet girlfriend and will probably be coming home soon on temporary leave. Nick, on the other hand, I have no clue about. After elementary school, he transferred to a different middle school than mine. Ever since, I only hung out with him once before I finally never saw him again. His father passed away when were kids, and Nick's family was absolutely crushed. As far as I know, he didn't turn out to be a very bright guy. I've heard from numerous people that his anger issues got worse than they were in elementary school, and he refused to make anymore friends after he met the rest of us.

     It's just silly to think of how easy it is to have friends come and go. Making new relationships with these guys was as simple as playing video games with them. We had the greatest and happiest memories hanging out with each other. But the greatest thing about us all being friends is that I learned something more important than just having friends itself. And that was an understanding that all of the good times, good laughs, and good friendships will always weigh much more than any fight or argument you have with someone important in your life. People walk out of your life just as easily as they walk in, why not make that time as much fun as you possibly can?

Chapter 3: Monster

"...And it took me walking through that fire to see how hot it really burned."

     The first of my mom's boyfriends that I can cleanly remember, is Bill. Now, Bill was a nice guy, he was. He stressed about making sure I was disciplined and raised well enough... because that's what my mom was stressed about. Every day was the same routine for me: Wake up, go to school, get picked up by Bill, do homework, eat, then stay in my room the entire night unless I had friends over.

     If I went out of order in any way, Bill would hit me. My only problem was that, I went out of this order A LOT. The only other problem, was that it gradually got worse over time.

     When he first moved in with my mom and I, he was always really playful. When my brothers and sisters were over, he'd chase us around the house, tickle us, make dinner for us, take us to the park to run around, pretty much anything we wanted to do that was fun, he would let us do. But strangely enough, he eventually felt the need to start making up rules for the house.

• No jumping on the furniture.
• No sitting on the arms of the couches.
• No friends over passed 6 o' clock.
• No cartoons passed 7 o' clock.
• No missing school for any reason.
• No loud noises.
• No cussing.
• Fork in your right hand and knife in your left when you eat.
• No soda for kids.
• No talking back.
• Brush your teeth three times a day, every day.

     If I remember correctly, that is just a small list of all the rules he personally enforced. Which, the rules themselves weren't bad! They weren't bad at all. As a matter of fact, I'll probably enforce a couple of those guidelines to my own kids one day. But the issue was that my mom didn't know about these rules, let alone how he made sure I followed them.

     The punishments evolved through out the time he was living here. First there was time out. Then he would spank me or swat my butt. Soon after, I started getting the belt to the butt. Then I got the belt to the body. He eventually realized that god gave him hands, so he started back handing me. Finally, it was the belt buckle I was taking to the body when I didn't follow the rules, and that doesn't include how long I got grounded for.

     Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not trying to receive pity or get some extra, golden attention by saying what happened. And I'm sure as hell not over exaggerating. I don't want anyone who might be reading this to think that my entire life is shit because of what he did to me, because it's not. I have a wonderful life. As a matter of fact, I THANK Bill for doing what he did to me. I'm thankful that I can look back on what happened between me and him.

At this point, you're probably saying, "What the fuck?! WHY?!"

     It's because I know that I'm a better person now because of it. Not because I learned a sense of authority or discipline behind what he did, but because I now know what kind of man I DON'T want to be one day. I now know that when I do have kids of my own, I will never allow them to experience the things I had to experience. Because of Bill, I realize that I wouldn't ever want someone to go through what I had to go through. Nobody deserves to be treated the way I was so many years ago. And it took me walking through that fire to see how hot it really burned. I'm just glad that I can now look back at my past and laugh at how silly of a situation I was in when I was younger. I don't laugh because it was funny, but I laugh because I know I've gotten over it. I laugh because I forgive him.

     There is nothing wrong with disciplining your children. Nothing at all. Kids need to be punished in order to learn a sense of right and wrong. To learn a sense of authority and respect for others. Otherwise, they never learn those things on their own when they get older. But there is a very vivid line between raising your child and making your child feel less than human. I really do hope that eventually, people realize this and that society finds different creative ways to teach their children the right lessons in life. Because a spanking is a spanking. But hitting a child is a little more than unnecessary.

Chapter 2: Phalanx

"But even when I look back at those times, we were filled with so much joy. We were filled with smiles."

     Soon after my parents parted ways, my mom got into touch with her two best friends, Lina and Jovita. Both of which were of Filipino decent, like my mother (which will be much more relevant later on). Along with my mom's friends, came their children... or my current "siblings", if you must. All, I became very close to. Although we are technically cousins, we all have grown up together. And even now we all still talk, see each other and consider ourselves to be close relatives, at least for the most part. Some have older brothers and sisters that I personally can't really consider relatives of my own, but I've met them all and they were very sweet to me and my actual blood sister.

Me and my sister, Jessica.

     I have six sisters and one brother by relativity, and I have one half blood sister. Beverly, Kimberly, Marjory, Randy, Jessica, Mallory, Sheena, and Angelina. All of them are huge chunks of my life and childhood.

     I remember the first day I ever met them, out in front of my house. Beverly, Kimberly, Marjory, and Mallory all jumped out Jovita's van, while Randy and Jessica jumped out of Lina's. We all awkwardly waved hi to each other, not really knowing what to say. After we all decided that we were hungry, everyone went inside so the mother's could start cooking dinner. I can't remember clearly who eventually started talking to who, but what I do remember is that all of us were jumping on my bed and on the couches in the living room. Needless to say, we all hastily got punished for jumping on the furniture. But that was the beginning of something wonderful.


     After a few months of them stopping by every couple of days, my mom started dropping me off at Lina's house during some afternoons to play with Randy and Jessica. We would spend hours on end playing with Legos, training our pokemon on our Gameboys, eating, and watching Angry Beavers.


     Randy would always get so mad if I touched his share of the Legos. But sadly enough, I was always jealous of his pieces. He was so good at building things with those blocks. Ships, airplanes, houses, you name it. I envied how well and easily he could make these amazing things while I was sitting there still struggling to get the heads back on the bodies. Thankfully though, we eventually got tired of them and started spending most of our time watching Titanic and Armageddon as we grew older.

My brother, Randy at Forbidden Body Art in Portland, OR.

     At one point or another, all of these kids have lived with my mom and I in this house. And because of that, we have so many good memories that we look back on. I tried my first cigarette because of Kimberly (thankfully, I didn't actually start smoking until I graduated high school). I found out how quickly a girl can climb out of a tree when she thinks Chucky is on her back because of Marjory. Best of all though, I learned how to make a lot of smarter decisions at an early age because of Beverly.


     Don't get me wrong though! Randy and Jessica have both taught me valuable lessons as well, just by being a part of my life. Jessica taught me that love can be found at some of the strangest places, while Randy taught me how to laugh in life's face and to find humor in even the worst of situations.


     Today, we've all kind of spread apart, but we still try to keep in contact. Randy lives here at home with my sister, Sheena and I. Jessica is now married and has a child of her own named Malikai. Beverly has two kids and travels between Oregon and Oklahoma through out most of the year. Kimberly lives with her mom and Mallory in Gresham, east of Portland, while Marjory lives in Oklahoma with her dad and her four children. These kids have all made an impact in my life and are a big influences to who I am currently. No matter how far apart we are, I still look at them as my family. It's silly to see how much we've changed and grown out of who we used to be as kids. But even when I look back at those times, we were filled with so much joy. We were filled with smiles.

Chapter 1: Origins

     So after seeing some close friends make blogs about their personal lives and pasts, I decided that it was time that I caught up. Of course, not everyone is going to be purely or completely interested in what events and stupid decisions I have made or plan on making, but for those of you that are actually taking the time to be interested in what goes on in my life: I thank you, in more ways than I can explain. With that said, I'm going to try to make this as entertaining as I possibly can! I don't know every little dotted detail and memory that has happened in my life, in all honesty. But I promise that I will try my best to be detailed within every post/chapter. Well... let's get started.

"Countless bad decisions and proud moments that I remember as if they took place yesterday."

     My name is Ernell Dantess Garrickson Earl Pearson, or for short: Ernie Pearson. Don't ask me how the hell my name got the way it was because honestly, I don't even know the answer myself. I have a mom whom I currently live with, and a father who I have not seen since I was a very young age. Because of the combination of my mom and dad's genes, I'm Filipino, Hawaiian, Native American, Scottish, Maori, Spanish, and a few other ingredients that I'm not exactly sure about. 

     I was conceived in Saudi Arabia in 1989 right before my parents moved back to the islands of Hawaii, where I was born on June 9th, 1990. My mother was a nurse on a naval ship in Kaneohe Bay, HI while my dad was actually enrolled into the United States Navy as an officer in his 14th year on duty when I was born. After four years of living in Hawaii after I was born, we spent almost two years traveling to places like Tonga, New Zealand, Australia, Japan, Guam, etc. and then soon after, we ended up back in Hawaii. After some final decisions made by my parents, we moved to my current home in Portland, Oregon the fall of 1996.  

My birthplace and original home: Honolulu, HI

    
     I have a small handful of blurry memories from growing up back then, like me riding a tricycle on my back patio, the big blue elephant doll that I carried around everywhere, and this goofy looking jump suit my mom had me wearing when I played outside. I also vaguely remember the first time I fell on a flight of stairs, and the first time I kissed a girl on the cheek. There were so many boat and airplane trips that we had, but sadly, I can only remember a small chunk of these travels.

     Soon after we moved to Portland, mom and dad filled out the ol' divorce paperwork and separated. I'll better explain that story in a future chapter, but for now all I can say is that it most definitely didn't work out the way married couples plan. I don't exactly know how many times my mom has tried to re-marry after they got divorced, but I do know that it's not very many. Although it might seem like things should have been awful after they split, life at home really wasn't very bad at all. We tried to make the best of it and my mom has done a fascinating job of raising me. 

The infamous Portland, OR sign.

     Ever since then, many things have happened to make me the man I am today. I've had numerous memories and friends growing up. Countless bad decisions and proud moments that I remember as if they took place yesterday. All of which, I want to openly share to anyone who reads this, as well as myself. As I noted earlier, I want to use this as a way to present my travels. I want to show the roads and paths I've taken to get to where I am now. I'll be noting and documenting all the important people and events I've had in my life. Down to the very brim and detail that I can possibly put, with as much honesty and realism that I can convey through words. Of course, some things do come up in my currently busy life, but I'm going to try my hardest to update and write a new chapter every night. I send thanks to anyone who really does take the time to read this and learn from my stories and mistakes. Maybe we both can learn a little something from ourselves by reading this. 

Until tomorrow, goodnight.